BMW Slang: Learn It and Live It
A few years back I was researching the BMW brand, and I came across a couple of forums. You know the type- passionate owners/enthusiasts who love the simple joys of discussing everything BMW, along with the occasional “What’s the best muscle supplement?” thrown in for good measure.
What I didn’t realize was that there is a certain type of BMW slang that permeates the web-waves & specialist crowds, most noticeably having to do with the way ‘Bimmer’ is spelled and pronounced. I mistakenly glanced over this golden standard of BMW slang, announcing to myself, “Ha, those people don’t know how to spell ‘Beamer’ correctly.” And then I committed the ultimate Bimmer slang atrocity by using the more phonetic ‘Beamer’ throughout the rest of my research.
I’m surprised that I didn’t end up with the circular BMW emblem imprinted into my forehead by angry, ahem, Bimmer connoisseurs.
You see, there’s a right way to use “Bimmer,” and the difference between Bimmer and Beemer, or Beamer, is great- the first means BMW automobiles, the second two refer to BMW motorbikes.
And yes, apparently you’re supposed to pronounce Bimmer like you would dimmer. Otherwise you risk being an idiot. Why? It all goes back to a simpler time when BMW motorcycles trumped the auto fleet, and competition with the British BSA brand was quite heated. BSA’s were known as Beezers, as a way of referencing the brand as one word, so of course BMW had to come up with their own slag. Guess what they used? Yes, Beemers (also known as Beamers). Yeah, so know you know. There are actually page long discussions on this subject, which, I guess is a testament to how seriously people take their beloved brand. Moral of the story: don’t screw up your BMW slang*, or you might be denounced as a Merc-head, or even worse, and Audi-llite. (Ed. note- I have no idea if those two terms have even been used).
*See also, The Correct Way to Pronounce Bimmer, and Why Should Anyone Care.
BMW Slang: The Initials
Speaking of BMW, I’m sure everybody knows that the initials stand for Bayerische Motoren Werke, or Bavarian Motor Works (hey, it’s BMW in both languages). But did you also know that there are individuals out there who wish to sully BMW’s good name? I know. This type of BMW slang can get ugly, so put the kids to bed if you’re reading this. Here are some other common translations for the BMW initials, which are probably courtesy of crusty Mercedes owners.
BMW = Babbling Mechanical Wench (We also would have accepted Wreck).
BMW = Born Moderately Wealthy
BMW = Bought My Wife (That’s not nice).
BMW = Big Money Waster
BMW = Break My Wallet
It goes on. This type of BMW slang is childish at best. I happen to think that the above were compliments of the jealous filth that can’t accept that fact that Bimmers are superior road machines. Am I right…? I much prefer something like BMW: Beautiful Mechanical Wonder. The Ultimate Driving Machine has a nice ring to it as well, I suppose.
Please give me a free Bimmer, BMW.