New car names are a bit like new baby names – there may be a few you think are clever or cute, but you’ve got to wait until you meet to find out which one is the best fit. New cars, just like newborns, have a personality all their own that should be taken into account before just bestowing a name all haphazardly.
Many people are under the impression that all cars are referred to as “she.” I, however, refute that myth, as I had a 2000 BMW 323Ci that I called “Alex” specifically because it seemed like a nice, androgynous 1980’s power name, in much the same way that the BMW was the 80’s status car. Not sure what to call your car? I can help.
New Car Names – An Intro
People have been naming their cars ever since Henry Ford started cranking them off the assembly lines in droves, but back in the day, there was a less formal process of evaluation. People stuck with the more quaint “she” or “girl” to describe their dusty little hand-cranked vehicles, patting them on the passengers’ side door out of sheer habit. It’s hard to break when you’re used to riding a horse, which also explains why people wanted to name their cars. If you drive a vintage vehicle, then it is perfectly acceptable to refer to it as “old girl.” Otherwise, I expect better. Moving on…
New Car Names For The Uncreative
If you’re one of those people that’s like “I can’t sing! I can’t draw! I can’t do this!” then fear not. I have an easy rule that will help you start your new car name off on the right foot – alliteration. If the car is a Subaru, then choose a name that starts with an “S.” Suzie the Subaru sounds like a cute little red Legacy that you’d drive with all the windows down listening to Taylor Swift. See how easy that was?! Dane the Dodge sounds more like a Charger that should be driven in old jeans and motorcycle boots. Now you try.
A Cautionary Tale of New Car Names
Unless you are a 16-year-old girl, do not name your car Sassy or Barbie or BoPeep or something like that…unless you are also going to put car lashes on your headlights, in which case, you’re fine. I personally have begun calling my brand new white Hyundai Accent “Babydoll,” although it’s after the lead character in Suckerpunch, not some pet name. Don’t name your car anything that will confuse someone into thinking you’re talking about your dog. New car names should not be embarrassing.
New Car Names for Men
Guys, you may feel a little resistant to new car names, but trust me, you should embrace it. You spend more time in your car commuting than you do with your partner, and when you treat your car like a bunch of bolts and metal, well, it gets hurt feelings. Feelings that might leave you stranded with a flat tire or without gas, if you aren’t mindful. Name your car like WWII pilots named their planes – Bettie, Jane, Cherry, and Doris – and you’ll feel just like a regular James Dean. Extra credit for white tee shirts with rolled up sleeves. Rowl.