When the apocalypse hits, what do you want to be driving?
Twenty-eight days. That’s all it took. My world, the only world we ever knew, has been completely wiped out. They always joked that it would be zombies, but this is so much worse. Whoever ends up reading this (if it even finds another pair of human eyes) should know that in these last few hectic days I was able to get my hands on the most indestructible pieces of machinery known to man. At a time when every other manmade structure had become obsolete, I found five perfectly operational vehicles. Roads are few and far between, but at least we can once and for all settle the argument of which cars should be labeled as the toughest in the world. Below is my testament to the indestructible on four wheels.
Waking up in the city long after the lights stopped working, I had run into four of these parked illegally right next to the impact zone. Apparently the thrill of one last Instagram photo capturing impending doom was too much for these urbanites to pass up. I tossed out the Modest Mouse-heavy iPods and stocked one of the spacious powder blue wagons with extra gas. People used to drive these cars ironically…it’s ironic that they’re all dead now. Note: I never learned how to use irony properly. Had to walk away from the 240 because it was just too depressing- even for post-apocalyptic Earth.
Apparently those broken web pages had it wrong. The 404 is one of the few things that can be found. After perfecting my stand-up routine in front of cardboard cutouts of those Hunger Games kids (I’d managed to find two relics- the 404 and a Blockbuster video store) I used the Peugeot to get myself from Santa Monica to Denver while driving 50 in the passing lane the whole way- still felt like a jerk.
VW Beetle (Original)
They always said that the only things that would survive a nuclear-type explosion would be the cockroaches. Well, go ahead and add Beetles to the list. I drove one of these across Nebraska before the squealing engine finally got to me. I’ll take the dreaded sound of a lifeless world over the Beetle’s drone any day. Plus I’d found a Hostess manufacturing plant and could use a little exercise.
Back when electricity flowed freely, I would watch the Top Gear episode where they beat the hell out of the Hilux while laughing and shaking my head. The only time I’ve laughed in weeks was when I found one of these sitting among the rubble of what I believe was an ice cream parlor, practically unscathed. Got bored one day, rolled it into Boston Harbor to see if it would float. It didn’t.
Turns out my Hilux adventure was a blessing in disguise, as I found one of these washed up on Revere Beach (yes, apparently this is possible) not too long after setting off on foot again. I now spent my days crushing and re-crushing random objects while waiting for my time to come. I feel like it’s getting close now, as the sun flares are getti
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