With Euro 2012 in full force, many so called Irish/English themed pubs across the US are filled with curious shouts along the lines of “Did you see that ludicrous display last night?” and “The thing about the Netherlands is they always try and walk it in.”  While soccer, or football, or futbol, may not have the same manic effect here as it does in Europe, one thing we can get behind is the fact that they make some damn good cars over there.  In this vein I’ve constructed a mini Euro Auto tournament, comprised of the best cars available from the countries involved in the actual Euro.  Take a look at the action below.

The players; designated by representative country:

Group A: German Division

Since Germany is so top heavy with talent, they get their own bracket; it’s only fair to the others.

Germany- Porsche 911 Turbo S

Germany- BMW M6 Coupe

Germany- Mercedes SLS AMG GT

Germany- Audi R8 GT

Group B: Wild Car Division

England- Aston Martin DBS Coupe

France- Peugeot RCZ

Italy- Lamborghini Aventador

Sweden- Volvo XC90

Group A, Match 1

Porsche 911 Turbo S VS Mercedes SLS AMG GT

It’s a shame one of these technological triumphs has to go so early, but that’s the nature of the game.  The fast & Furious match is seemingly over before it starts.  While few can match 911 Turbo S and its PDK transmission, SLS AMG GT, packing 20 more horsepower than the regular SLS AMG, pulls away with style and ferocity.

Group B, Match 1

Peugeot RCZ VS Lamborghini Aventador

Already on sanctions for attempting to pass the Bugatti Veyron off as French, the land of baguettes & wine and its RCZ never get the recognition they deserve.  Aventador bulls through with sheer power- 690 horses worth.  Peugeot gives a single rev of respect as Aventador checks itself out in RCZ’s side reflection.

Group A, Match 2

BMW M6 Coupe VS Audi R8 GT

The M6 has it.  Matching horsepower (560), M6 pulls away with extra torque, more versatility inside, and a price tag of about $90,000 less.

Group B, Match 2

Aston Martin DBS Coupe VS Volvo XC90

On paper, the DBS would seem to have every advantage, and it’s the same on the street.  Ever the gentleman in defeat, Aston’s crew bids cheers to XC90 and its Haldex AWD system; at least XC90 is able to fit seven tall blondes in its cabin.

Semifinals, Group A

Mercedes SLS AMG GT VS BMW M6

A classic of sorts, the debate is neck and neck as each brand boasts different areas of superiority.  In the end, though, SLS AMG GT wins out with its lighter, throwback style- complete with gullwing doors.  M6 may do just about everything right, but SLS AMG’s ‘GT’ designation is enough to keep public interest- at least until the Black Series comes out.

Semifinals, Group B

Aston Martin DBS Coupe VS Lamborghini Aventador

Struck with rage that fans have constructed 458 Italia signs, Aventador’s people attempt to run their car on uneven pavement and the results are disastrous.  The Lambo is just one of those cars that you only want to take out in perfect conditions, and so DBS gets by on a technicality.

Final Match

Aston Martin DBS Coupe VS Mercedes SLS AMG GT

Some say that even with all its glory, the SLS’s gullwing doors are ridiculous.  That’s enough reason to give the win to the car Bond trusts.  What better character to encompass the history, beauty, and animal instinct of Europe?  I’m talking about the Aston, of course.  And it’s only fair to give England a taste of what they never get on the pitch…