Here are the facts.  None of us are saints when we get behind the wheel.  And I’m sure that many drivers will confess to nefarious things when grilled on an open and unbiased forum.  But on a day to day basis, it’s pretty much everyone around us who are the hugest douchebags.  Getting behind the wheel of a vehicle makes everyone elite, and while I think that Chloe’s article took care of the basics, there are much more pressing atrocities that take place every day, and we all take the toll.  Here’s what I’ve got.

Phantom Door Dingers

You’re coming home from a session of work that sucks more than the eight hours you just worked, and all you want is a six pack of beer.  Then you come back to your car only to find out that it has been more abused than you were earlier that day.  No note, no apology.  The only thing left is the evidence that provides a stinging feeling every time you see that demarcation in your once sweet ride.

No Signals, No Hesitations

Bullies never prosper, except when they threaten to bang your car with their reckless maneuvers.  These are the types of people who have no care as to whether or not you are in the way or not, and their dinged-up cars usually prove as much.

Getting High Beamed into Submission

Sure, it’s a late night out and the roads are winding and unfamiliar, but that doesn’t mean you need to absolutely blind the person coming in the other direction.  There are times for high beams and there are times for normal headlights, and if you can’t distinguish between the two, then maybe you should just put the car in the garage for a while, possibly for good.

Not Pulling Forward So You Have to Hang Out in the Intersection

This one may seem trivial, but if you’ve ever been the ‘jerk’ in the middle of a mini traffic jam caused by some fool who hasn’t realized that pulling forward by two feet makes all the difference in the world, then you know what I mean.

Last Second Lane Changers

Some people seem to think that the roads revolve around them, but the congestion-conscious among us realize that a little patience goes a long way.  The ones who truly believe they are doing themselves a favor by cramming in at the last moment are known as the worst.  There is a theory that says late changes actually save time & bottlenecks, but of course this is nonsense.

Lane Entrance Offensive Linemen

This is the other end of the lane changing spectrum.  You use your best moves to get into position so as to be the least offensive person out there, but it’s just not enough.  You always happen to encounter someone that tries to teach elementary-type lessons every time they get the chance to become big men/women of the preferred lane.  I get it; we messed up and wound up in the wrong lane.  Don’t make us regret it forever.

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