A name says a lot about someone right off the bat.  If you don’t believe me, just think about how young Biebs Swag or Yolo Katniss will feel down the line at social events or job interviews.  It’s much the same thing with cars; create a solid moniker and even mediocrity gets a few extra sales.  Go with something you coughed up at the bar last night and you’ll be haunted forever.  With this in mind I’ve listed a few makes that represent the good, the bad, and the downright ugly throughout the years.

Enjoy, and apologies in advance if you own or ever owned one of the more disgraceful nameplates.

The Good

Viper

Even better, Viper is making a comeback for 2013.

Lightning

You were pretty cool in high school if you had one of these.

Raptor

This F-150 variant eats up terrain with the same ferocity as the beast it was named after.

Aventador

Maybe Lamborghini should go with the other name, the LP 700-4?

Chevelle

So good it even spawned a band.

Mustang

It’s a perfect name for the quintessential pony car.

Challenger

It’s implied that you must race every single person off the line at red lights if you drive a Challenger.

Ram

Good name, even better logo.

Carrera

The iconic Porsche moniker just sounds so smooth.

Sting Ray

Anything that can take out the greatest wild man of all time gets some hateful respect in my book.

The Bad

Equus

Hyundai was trying to find a horse name; apparently all the good ones are taken.

Touarag

This was the winning word for the national elementary school spelling bee.  Maybe a few more vowels would have helped.

Tiguan

It’s a cross between the words for tiger (tiger) and iguana (leguan) in German.  Why would these two species ever cross?  Way to drop the ball VW fans.

CTS-V

Some character/number initials sound decent and even downright cool, like the Jaguar XJ or Nissan 370Z, but others take it too far.

MP4-12C (McLaren)

Again, are we talking about a car or a special redeeming code?

Huayra (Pagani)

Why?

Celebrity

This Chevy nameplate was anything but.

Yaris

Combine a Greek goddess named Charis and the German expression for agreement ‘Ya,’ and you get a crap name.

Swinger

Sure.

Achieva

Looks like Oldsmobile needed to Achieva a better car.

The Ugly

Gremlin

Yeah, name your car after a hideous, foul creature.  Actually, in this case AMC wasn’t that far off in describing their vehicle.

LeCar (Renault)

The North American version of the Renault 5 le sucked.

Dictator (Studebaker)

Enough said.

Probe

Conjures up visions of some alien nightmare.

Starion (Mistubishi)

The Starion was actually a cool looking car; too bad its name made people want to hit something.

Mysterious Utility Wizard (Isuzu)

Yes, apparently this is real.  Wasn’t there a movie made about this?

Scat (Daihatsu)

I’m gonna take a pass on this one.

Thing (Volkswagen)

Not quite a superhero.

That’s (Honda)

I don’t even understand this one; thankfully it was a Japanese only model.

Homy Super Long (Nissan)

It’s Super Long, Homy.

The Silver Lining

It’s not all a lost cause; makes like the Ford Fiesta and Dodge Dart have proven that once suspect names can be resurrected through better technology- check ‘em out.  I still don’t think the swinger is coming back anytime soon, though.  At least not in car form.